Boring People

Have you ever met someone who is boring? They can go ON and ON about the most UNinteresting things!

When an author writes a story they usually like to include characters which they hope their audience will either love or hate. There might be certain types of people who might say a line or two or do one or two things. These, I would say, are called, “one dimensional characters”. They exist at that point, which is always the present (since it’s what you’re presently reading even if it is something which occurs in the past for the character), and they don’t really have anything to do with the story except to support the plot.

In our physical world, we live in 3 dimensions and travel through a 4th. The first dimension is a point, which is to say, a dot. Imagine looking down the length of a rod so that you could only see the end (or the beginning?). That extremity of the rod, in this analogy, represents a point.

The second dimension is two rods, one horizontally and one vertically. The second dimension is the same one that most of our creative media exists. We write and draw on paper (and it is this dimension which Flat Stanley lives in) and we are, for some reason, glad we don’t live in a world where we run into things which are directly in front of us unless we turn and the entire scenery which we were once on completely disappears so that we’re now on a different one. Authors might write supporting actors into their stories, but, I believe, these are only a different type of one dimensional character. They’re really only involved to interact a little more with the main characters who are the most developed (or are supposed to be) in the story. They typically have a present relationship with the main character as well as one in the past. We don’t usually care about them as much… although we want to when the author kills them off or makes them suffer.

The third dimension is the one in which we exist and perceive.  It’s represented by three rods. One vertical, one horizontal, and one which moves away from us where the first two rods join. This is, of course, mirrored so that we have the three dimensional object contained within a field instead of just falling off of it.

Apparently Wikipedia agrees with me. Go here for diagrams and more explanation on the subject of dimensions

For an author, this is the only type which the author ever wants his main characters to be described as. He wants his main characters to have a past, present, and a future. The only one(s) which he is truly concerned about his audience falling in love with or hating. When there are issues with the character which make them incomplete (such as an obsessive compulsive who the author doesn’t acknowledge as such) they are regarded as two dimensional characters. This is because, despite the author’s efforts, there are depths to which the author didn’t go in describing his main characters. If the author ever intended on the main character being in a sequel, his audience would be suspicious right away and might not even care to risk being disappointed again.

So it seems in our world that there are, somehow, actual two dimensional characters. I’m not suggesting we live our lives assigning labels like, “that guy who shouted at me for cutting him off is a one dimensional character”. But it is, at least for me, difficult to not assign the label of a “two dimensional character” to certain people who can only relate to others by discussing the things of this world. An example would be cars. Mechanics talk to me and tell me all kinds of junk about my car which I mostly don’t care about and, if it weren’t for my transformed perception, I would not really care about them. I might write them off as two dimensional if I wasn’t concerned about them as creatures made in God’s image. But it is true that I keep those who only discuss or identify themselves by the drugs they take, the (wo)men they have pre/extra-marital relations with, or the secular music/television they listen to/watch as two dimensional.

It says in Romans 12:2 says that we shouldn’t conform to the ways of the world, but by the renewing of our minds. It seems, without a new mind everyday, we could all revert to our past selves and believe that all we have to live for is the present. Two dimensional people only have two of the elements of a character in this big story which started in Genesis 1:1. Those who are two dimensional have a past life, a present life, but no future (at least not in their current state) because they don’t have Jesus in them to make them alive.

So…. these are the boring people to whom I was referring. As Christians we shouldn’t talk so much about this world and the things in it. For me, I’ll abstain from talking about etiquette and other people’s silly old ideas of what’s right and wrong to do while at a dinner table (but I do that anyway because I like to put my elbows on the table as long as it’s not made from a trellis). As crazy as it is and will be there’s going to be BETTER things in Heaven. Actually, there won’t be in the material sense, but in the spiritual sense and Jesus said it’s treasure so it’s gotta’ be good, right?!

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